The Value of You

Today, I looked pretty

Yet, you didn’t text me

Fresh out the shower. Face clear. Lotion sinking in. Enclosed in a robe’s warm embrace.

My phone sitting silent in its tattered case

Today, I felt pretty

Skin glowing. Teeth showing. Hair with a slight kink from laying down with it still damp.

I check my phone again. Maybe I just didn’t hear it.

Nope, you just never texted back

In the beginning, this could’ve been labeled fun, exciting

Oh, the game of chasing

How you always keep me on my toes

What will you do next, nobody knows

But the pursuer grows tired and the love old

Because someone interesting, who isn’t interested in me, is no longer interesting

Though you seemed interested when we’re sexting

Exchanging ideas that leave my hairs standing on end

Talking of the how I can make this body bend

Never caring to ask who I am

The physical form yearns for more, but the mind grows bored

Oh, the sending of nudes

A common request too commonly abided to

But even then, my veins fail to fill with adrenaline as the raunchy photo sends

That level of vulnerability has lost its excitement

It’s become routine. Another meaningless body splattered on a screen

An immature attempt to get some immature boy to like me

I get it. Wanting to be wanted. That validation is tantalizing.

But your worth is not packaged inside how much time someone spends with you

Or how often they text you back, how much attention they give you, or even if they like you

Your worth is not wrapped up in someone else’s opinion, someone else’s perspective, someone else’s idea of you

Your value is enveloped within all that makes you, you

It is in your dreams of changing the world­­

Your stubbornness, your impatience

Your unapologetic passion for sunsets and ­­homeless pets

Your first step when you wake up even though you feel like shit and would rather roll into a ditch than make it to work on time

It is in your brilliance, your resilience

In your successes, even more in your failures

It is in your shaky hands and uneven breath after you survived yet another panic attack

In the way you got back up after crumbling to the floor for the fourth time today

It is in the way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love

In the way your heart beat quickens when you listen to your favorite song

The way your breath slows down as you look inside yourself and decide that you belong

Your worth is defined, and created and held by you, inside every cell of your being

Inside every experience that shaped the magnificent creature I see before me

Remember this and it won’t matter if he walks out on you, if she leaves you, if your best friend passes away too soon.

The whole world can turn its back on you

And you will still have value.

Intrinsic love can’t leave you.

It is you.

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